The Plan

There is a new book out called "the year of yes." It is one woman's story of how she accepted every invitiation for a date, no matter how much she thought the man asking did not fit her ideal. I can't say as I have any definite plans to read it, but I like the idea. I'm setting some rules for myself:
1. I will date more.
-just because I start seeing someone, does not mean that I can't continue persuing new men.
-I will talk to more people and meet more people. Instead of waiting for them to talk to me.
2. I will not get overly serious until the situation warrants it.


If at some point the relationship gets serious here are things that are important to me:
1. I want children. I don't want to give them weird names. I don't want to be a soccer mom. I want to go on family vacations. In a car. We can sing and play car games and still complain about it years later.
2. I want some freedom. I can't be with someone who would dissapprove of girls weekends or be distrustful. At the same time, I'm pretty happy to be a homebody so I don't think I could be with someone who wants to go out to the bars every weekend.
3. We should like each other's friends. Or at least most of them. I would like our home to be a place where there is a lot of hanging out.
4. I like to travel. I'd like to travel with my other. And maybe occasionally alone.
5. Shared money and seperate money. I don't want to be all crazy even with who pays for what, but I would like to have my own accounts too. Also the other must have a job. a steady job.
6. He has to love my cooking. I love to cook for people.
7. He has to love my dog and cat.

*This is a work in progress.

Irritation with last boy

I have been thinking about the dating situation and I have decided to stop. Thinking, not dating. I quit smoking and have PMS at the same time this week, so I was feeling a little masochistic. I checked out the last guy's My Space thingy. I know it's a stupid thing to do, but my judgment was altered. There is a profile and one of the questions was: Do you have a crush on anyone? His answer: Sort of, but I wish she wasn't such a headcase.
I am dating the origin of this My Space account as sometime during the last few months, which was while we were doing something like dating. Based on the timing, I can make one of two assumptions. First, he was seeing other people. This "headcase" is not me. This theory would also clarify why he seemed so disinterested in me. Second, I'm the headcase. Here's the problem I have with this jackass calling me a headcase.
1. He was a horrible dater. He gave horrible signs that could only point to the fact that he was completely disinterested. If I didn't call him, he would wait easily a week and a half to make a call. Now this is not a huge deal in a casual relationship, but in the date preceding this lapse in communication he was all mushy and romantic. Remembering the date of our first meeting and recognizing an "anniversary" approaching. How am I supposed to know what is going on with this kind of flip-floppy behavior.
2. He stood me up twice and blew me off a couple times. The first time I was understanding. He works a lot, yada yada yada. The last time he stood me up, we were supposed to watch a movie at his house. He called the next day to say that he had fallen asleep. No apology, just an excuse. Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude.!
3. I never did anything headcasey. There are two items that he might have considered fitting. The first time he stood me up, I bitched to my roommate and she called and left him a not so nice message without my knowing it. Second, after the confusing behavior, I mentioned that I had thought he was blowing me off. I wasn't bitchy, I just made it known that I expect more.
4. Okay this is just petty, but it's my blog and I'm not using names. The sex was subpar.

Well that's enough of that. Here is what I have learned from this lesson. I am not slumming it anymore. Less attractive guys treat me no better than hot guys. In fact they have all these weird self-esteem issues, so if anything they are worse. Also, I'm not putting up with crap. Being stood up once is quite enough. Lastly, I need some kind of PMS sanity pill or a sedative so that I can sleep through the 3-5 crazy days. Seriously.

Subpar Men

So the boy drama continues, both my own and the drama of friends. And this is what occured to me the other day. How is it possible that I have as many good girlfriends as I do (D, Leah, Jen, Marsha, Tweet and Devin (male but is going into girlfriend category), plus the social friends)? Seriously I find myself statistically luckly to have found each of them. Here's the thing..... Why do I slum it with substandard guys. I'm used to high quality platonic friends and yet right now I'm putting up with a guy who "sleeps" through the better percentage of our dates. D is feeling bad that she can't help her last non-commital, wishy-washy boyfriend recover more gracefully from their breakup. Leah is waiting for a guy to move over the friend hump (which I would say is her own delusion except for that he keeps planning their future marriage, home and children). I would not put up with half the shit from a platonic friend that I put up with from a guy. So why do I?