Emo
I'm feeling emo today. In truth, this will be pushing about a week of emo-ness. I can write a lot of this off to PMS/MS, but here's the rest:
~I have been wallowing in it. I found this folk singer, Chris O'Brien, who is great to listen to when you feel like crying. Tomorrow I'm going to the movies to see "The year of the dog." I'm pretty sure that will get me thinking about the mortality of my own short dog. Never a good thought to entertain.
~I have been on a series of sucky dates lately. Pretty sure I'm going to be the cat lady. I don't even like cats, which makes the prospect of being the cat lady especially harsh. I have a third date tonight with a guy. I'm pretty sure the window of opportunity on this one is about to close.
~My job sucks. I'm not sure if it's just this particular place or if I am going to have to make a minor career change. It bums me out. I am really good at part of my job and I feel really sucky about the other part.
~My car/apartment/office are messy. I'd like them not to be.
~I haven't talked to my brother since I went to visit him in Florida. It turned out to be a shitty trip. Literally, as he had not had the septic on his boat (where he lives) pumped in some time. I ended up leaving early. I think this may have been disappointing to him. He might be mad and purposefully not speaking to me as my people are apt to do. Possibly he could be drunk or more likely has found a very intense short term relationship. I do wish he'd call though.
~My mother is insane. She's been weird lately. She blew me off on mother's day. Seriously. Then she left me a note at work today that said something to the effect of "our relationship could be better and more honest." Honestly, I wish she was more motherly and perhaps pulled her head out of her ass. It would be nice to have a mother who was supportive enough to realize that this is a rough time in my life. Or at least, when I tell her I am feeling stressed out, not to respond with "what do you have to be stressed about." A hug would be nice.
~I am feeling the need for change. Sometimes, when I get on the highway to go to work, I just want to drive. I don't know where. Just away.
~I have been wallowing in it. I found this folk singer, Chris O'Brien, who is great to listen to when you feel like crying. Tomorrow I'm going to the movies to see "The year of the dog." I'm pretty sure that will get me thinking about the mortality of my own short dog. Never a good thought to entertain.
~I have been on a series of sucky dates lately. Pretty sure I'm going to be the cat lady. I don't even like cats, which makes the prospect of being the cat lady especially harsh. I have a third date tonight with a guy. I'm pretty sure the window of opportunity on this one is about to close.
~My job sucks. I'm not sure if it's just this particular place or if I am going to have to make a minor career change. It bums me out. I am really good at part of my job and I feel really sucky about the other part.
~My car/apartment/office are messy. I'd like them not to be.
~I haven't talked to my brother since I went to visit him in Florida. It turned out to be a shitty trip. Literally, as he had not had the septic on his boat (where he lives) pumped in some time. I ended up leaving early. I think this may have been disappointing to him. He might be mad and purposefully not speaking to me as my people are apt to do. Possibly he could be drunk or more likely has found a very intense short term relationship. I do wish he'd call though.
~My mother is insane. She's been weird lately. She blew me off on mother's day. Seriously. Then she left me a note at work today that said something to the effect of "our relationship could be better and more honest." Honestly, I wish she was more motherly and perhaps pulled her head out of her ass. It would be nice to have a mother who was supportive enough to realize that this is a rough time in my life. Or at least, when I tell her I am feeling stressed out, not to respond with "what do you have to be stressed about." A hug would be nice.
~I am feeling the need for change. Sometimes, when I get on the highway to go to work, I just want to drive. I don't know where. Just away.
posted by bjh at 2:13 PM
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