Boys Boys Boys

Ahhh, dating. So I have strongly felt for a long time that my dating life is so laughable that others might enjoy reading about it. Here it is.... Yes I will be accepting sympathy cards.
I am venturing into Match.com. I can't say as it is better or worse than more traditional means. Sometimes it's easier, if for no other reason than quantity. Sometimes it's frustrating. Just ask the guy who sued. Yes, the GUY. A big woohoo for pathetic-felling women everywhere. No chick is suing over a set up company done me wrong. So here are my selections. I'll try to be fair even when I'm feeling pissy.
Proposal guy: So I start up for round two of match(tried last year, see: coupon guy and lawyer fuck buddy guy). I see a profile. His pics are a little dorky, but he's well travelled and seems interesting. And honestly it's not like I'm busting the ceiling of cool. Does anyone even say cool anymore? I send a hello. He sends a hello. We meet up for a fun date. A little put-put. Hit some balls. Went for a walk. Very pleasant. We exchanged a few texts over the week. I invited him to let me throw tomatoes at him. It was a charity fundraiser downtown and really do we always have to act our age? He declined on the basis that it might injure his bumm shoulder. Really at least he could man up and say he doesn't want to get dirty. He asks for other ideas. I come up with two. One would be a day trip hiking, kind of a lot for a first date but the weather was nice. The second the zoo, could be two hours max.
He picked the former. I offered to pack a picnic. I made The Sandwich (D knows), brussell sprouts (yumm), apples, grapes and a nice bottle of Carmenere. And for dessert a small quadruple chocolate cake, my specialty. He picked me up and we headed out. Now on the way he was speeding and was pulled over. My history with men makes this situation tense. But he was great. Very relaxed. No swearing. I am now impressed. We continue on and arrive at the park. I feed him and as dessert is served I made a joke about only eating the meal so that I can eat dessert. He stated that most women are that way. Hmmmm, am I most women? Have I not differentiated myself?
We rented a canoe and set off on the lake. We enjoyed a nice paddling and took a swim. While I was floating he moved in for a kiss, but we both kind of sank and he just let it go. (Really, where's the initiative?)
After a while we paddled back and got set for hiking. We hiked up to a serene spot and sat enjoying the view. A tourist couple were taking pictures of each other and he offered to take one of them together. Sweet. We hiked a bit more, sat on another rock and enjoyed the view. He finally reattempted the kiss. It was good, though a bit dry. We sit and enjoy the scenery for a bit and he says, "this would be a great place to propose." I am a little taken aback so I jest, "it all depends on who you're asking. A girl in cute shoes would probably say no after you made her walk all the way up here." I mean really, there are just things that aren't discussed on the first several dates: politics, religion, bank accounts, how many kids, moving in together, and proposing come to mind.
He was hungry again and we set off to get dinner on the way home. We had a lovely dinner, nice conversation and on the way home he started asking leading questions. "Do you plan to live in this area?" He wants to stay around here. "How long have you been single?" Open for interpretation.
Upon arriving back at my place he helps me take my stuff in, takes a big poo in my bathroom and kisses me goodbye.
The next day I sent a text. Had a great time, Any good times for you next week. Now I know he has a busy week coming up, and I'd like to set up my own schedule, but I was hoping it might include a third date. He replies Had a great time too, busy week. And I don't want to take things too fast :) Yes he added a smiley face to that. What the fuck does that even mean? I replied Sounds good. Have a good week. Seriously. Who's taking things too fast? I wasn't talking about proposals. I was actually a little weirded out by it.
So here's the thing. Of the four guys I've met recently, this one seemed most normal. Clearly my judgement is impaired.
I'll keep you posted on this one, but I'm not optimistic.
Tongue Stud Guy:

Gardening

I have taken up something like gardening. It started a few months ago with some seeds and and a random variety of containers to start the seeds. I had a selection of 10 different seeds and all went well until the tags (permanent marker on scotch tape) washed clean. I was left to guess based on teeny little shoots. I had plans to dig a garden in my backyard, but decided I didn't want to invade my short dog's territory. So I reworked a small landscaped area of my front yard with what I believed to be sugar snap peas, brussel sprouts, spinach and arugula. I was very excited by the progress of my garden until I realized that seventy five percent of the growth was actually weeds. Then my mom assured me that what I thought was brussel sprouts are not. I eventually conceded that they could be zucchini. Today I realized that my arugula looks a lot like tomatoes. My herbs are doing well in their hanging baskets. I thinned out my basil to share. It was growing like mad, but after an hour out of it's original planter it started to look wilted. I have it in pots and have been watering like mad. It looks like it will come around. Sometimes things just need to mope for while before they adjust to a new space. Yeah Basil for making a dramatic transition.

Emo

I'm feeling emo today. In truth, this will be pushing about a week of emo-ness. I can write a lot of this off to PMS/MS, but here's the rest:
~I have been wallowing in it. I found this folk singer, Chris O'Brien, who is great to listen to when you feel like crying. Tomorrow I'm going to the movies to see "The year of the dog." I'm pretty sure that will get me thinking about the mortality of my own short dog. Never a good thought to entertain.
~I have been on a series of sucky dates lately. Pretty sure I'm going to be the cat lady. I don't even like cats, which makes the prospect of being the cat lady especially harsh. I have a third date tonight with a guy. I'm pretty sure the window of opportunity on this one is about to close.
~My job sucks. I'm not sure if it's just this particular place or if I am going to have to make a minor career change. It bums me out. I am really good at part of my job and I feel really sucky about the other part.
~My car/apartment/office are messy. I'd like them not to be.
~I haven't talked to my brother since I went to visit him in Florida. It turned out to be a shitty trip. Literally, as he had not had the septic on his boat (where he lives) pumped in some time. I ended up leaving early. I think this may have been disappointing to him. He might be mad and purposefully not speaking to me as my people are apt to do. Possibly he could be drunk or more likely has found a very intense short term relationship. I do wish he'd call though.
~My mother is insane. She's been weird lately. She blew me off on mother's day. Seriously. Then she left me a note at work today that said something to the effect of "our relationship could be better and more honest." Honestly, I wish she was more motherly and perhaps pulled her head out of her ass. It would be nice to have a mother who was supportive enough to realize that this is a rough time in my life. Or at least, when I tell her I am feeling stressed out, not to respond with "what do you have to be stressed about." A hug would be nice.
~I am feeling the need for change. Sometimes, when I get on the highway to go to work, I just want to drive. I don't know where. Just away.

We're Funny! Here's why.

Robin and I went to the bar tonight and thus began a R&B traditional night of stupidity. First we obsessed on why our respective male interests aren't making sufficient contact, while eating fried mushrroms and drinking captain and diet. Then we brought the party home for some cribbage. Had another drink. And continued with our obsessive ways. "Betsy, why isn't he calling me?," "I don't know Robin, why isn't he calling me?" Eventually, we moved to more interesting topics, like the time Kelly crashed in Robin's room and awoke to Penny the dog eating a three-month-old used condom. We had been withholding that story from Robin, but I couldn't keep the secret anymore. Then, I convinced Robin that the reason she's feeling so psycho right now, is that she could possibly be pregnant. When she explained that she had gotten her period shortly after seeing her fiance last, I argued that the wonders of the menstrual cycle could still allow her to be pregnant. So she spent some time entertaining me with a period of being freaked before I conceeded that she was most likely not actually pregnant. Then we went out to smoke and noticed Kelly's light was on. We rang her doorbell, but did not recieve an immediate response so we stood outside her door and yelled, "Kelly, Kelly, what are you doing!" Her boyfiend then forced to go outside to stop our obnoxiousness. Okay maybe it's not so much that we're funny. But we do a damn good job of entertaining ourselves.

Moved

I moved two weeks ago and I am just begining to get back to normal. The actual move was a tremendous disaster. My roommate and I were completely unprepared, a little delusional and apparently unpopular.
My mom drove me nuts in the weeks leading up to the move by constantly commenting on how I needed to get boxes and other moving related preparations. Instead of listening to her, I was just irritated because she was stressing me out and I was busy. Seriously, there are times when I need to listen to my mother. This was one of those times. On moving day, only about half of my stuff was actually packed. Thankfully,we bumped the moving day up to Thursday from Friday just in case we needed more time. We had to be out by noon on Saturday, and we were working right up to it. In our sugar plum filled visions of moving day, Robin and I pictured a couple of able bodied men helping with big stuff, us getting all the boxes and mom helping us clean up. We figured we could get it all done in a day.
A few months prior to the move, we had volunteers to help. They all evaporated. It ended up being me, my weak roommate and my 67-year-old mom. On Thursday we got all the big stuff moved. On Friday we were frantically packing the little stuff that we should have packed (or thrown out) weeks ago. Mom was a trooper. She stuck with us all day Thursday, stayed over night, got up before me on Friday and kept at it all day until leaving us nearly completely moved on Friday night. I have to say I've never gotten along better with my mom. Apparently gratitude trumps irritation.

I'm officially old/uncool (In case there were any doubts)

Robin and I took my friend's daughter to the zoo yesterday. She'll be thirteen next month. I have been feeling the effects of her age on our relationship, in that she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. A year ago I could call her up at the last minute to hang out and she was in. Now she's consistently busy with friends and phones and whatnot. When she was three she thought I was awesome. Now? Not so much.
Anyways. I have this kids CD that I burned for my summer school cooking class. One of the songs is about the zoo. My roommate and I like this particular song a lot. So we listened to it on the way to the zoo. And we sang along.

"Say Hi to the Zebra for me, Say Hi to the Zebra for me. If you're a Scorpio or
a Libra, Say Hi to the Zebra."

Needless to say, Ang was mortified in the car when there was no one to witness her association with us. Imagine her horror when we continued to sing this song as we walk throughout the zoo. I now recognize that I might want to try to be a little more "normal" if I want to see the kid again during the "everyone is looking at me" phase. Here's the thing. I'm only 27, which isn't even near old. And while I'm not traditionally "cool," I am fun.

I miss the beach

I spent three fab days in Salerno, Italy with my friend D. Here is what I realized: I need to live near the beach. I love to nap in the sun. I love to be tan. I love to hang around half naked, or rather bikini clad. It is impossible to be stressed after you've spent a few hours listening to waves. I'm much friendlier, as I'm sure D will attest to, after a few days of beach time. The question this leads to is........ Why am I living in the landlocked Midwest. Okay, there are the great lakes, but I wouldn't stick a toe into Lake Michigan for anything. Ick. I think my job hunt next year will propel me towards an ocean. Maybe I'll quit my day job and become a lifeguard. Though, I think they frown on the napping when your a lifeguard. Hmm. A beach job that allows napping, sunbathing and possibly reading. I'll have to do some research.

The Girls

I spent a weekend with my best girl-friends a few weeks ago. We've reached the point we are well aware of each others strengths and weaknesses. I know that Danielle is likely to take charge (i.e., bossy), be concerned about how all of our behavior is perceived (i.e., proper) and will nearly always put the effort in to look her best (she's so pretty ;)). Leah will be severely less adventuresome if she has her period (you know it's true), she will make us killer taco dip ("our mom") and she will yell at me for having my nose in a book ( I know, I need to kick that awful reading habit). I will always be the least fashionable (D's relief when I self-correct always makes me laugh), the least cool and the luckiest to have these girls as my friends.
We can all be self-conscious about what we see as our lesser traits, but between the three of us, our lesser traits can be as endearing as our best traits. Well, that's how I feel about them anyways. They could be plotting to out me from the group for any number of irritations. If I ever date a guy outside of their delegated age cap (i.e., within five years of me), they are definitely giving me the boot. That's beside the point, though. It's funny sometimes the things that don't irritate me about them. If other people were acting the same way, I could guarantee irritation. The difference is that no one else is as wholy perfect as my girls. I can't imagine ever finding two people who could offer me so much. A few of the perks include: a date to English fest, an ice cream buddy, four constant shoulders to cry on (Leah I don't think I would have made it through that one day without you), two smiles to cheer me on, someone to applaud me at my graduation, two wonderful families which have been so selflessly shared, so much alcohol it could take down an ape, pushing five years of friendship and more ahead.
So when I hear one of my girls doubt themselves, I am saddened. I want them to see themselves as I do. None of us are perfect, shit who wants to be friends with perfect. Perfect is irritating. We are fabulous in all our imperfections and strivings. In the past five years each of us have had accomplishments and pratfalls, but overall we are just getting better. I can't wait to see us in another five years. And in another five years, I still want us to be us. Danielle is our 'strong' leader. Leah is our mother. I'm not sure what I am yet, but we'll save that for another day.